You know when You have Thoughts and then those Thoughts keep going…

It’s one of those things I have started to wonder about, now that I’m getting into the second half of the first year of a serious relationship. You know, wonder about the future, wonder how long the giggly honeymoon phase lasts, wonder if this will really kick off or is something else going to come up, and wonder about that pesky L-word. Some people take the idea very seriously, while others just let the feelings and the time flow.

I usually consider myself as the latter choice, because I don’t believe allowing myself to stress/overthink emotions is something practical or even necessary to do. You feel what you feel and just go from there, right? On the flip side, I’m older now; any relationships/flings/romances/relations I had in the past were from a time where I was younger, less mature, less practical, less serious. I let by-gones be by-gones and I never held on to anything with serious intentions. I always told myself that if things didn’t work out, move on to something else.

I still think that for many things now, although I have learned to put more serious and focused work on things that matter NOW. My career attempts, for example, is a goal I feel very strongly towards, now that I have found a field I enjoy and desire to develop within. Quite frankly, I almost stumbled on the idea by sheer chance, but I wouldn’t change the moment for anything else. I also take living and caring for myself much more seriously; I have change my dietary menu (vegetarian), I have learned to shop and save with or without coupons (Aldi’s and Costco also helps), I have learned to take care of bills, charges, taxes, making appointment, tending to car maintenance, fixing things in the home, etc. I have learned to live like a proper adult and take responsibilities as expected, so in that aspect, I consider myself doing a job well done!

*pat on the back*

Back to my original thought, the whole relationship factor. This time, after some flops in the past, I took a different route based on advice from a friend: online dating.

Whoa.

Anyways, I figured the worst that could happen is… well, a lot of things honestly, but I went ahead and chanced it. After some trials and fails, I landed a rather likable male who was suited according to my interests (omg he knows how to make conversation, omg he has a real career, omg he pays his own bills and owns a car….), and 6+ months later, it appears to still be working out pretty successfully. I like this guy. A lot, probably.

So that L-word. I went around and ask some friends when they started dropping it to their significant others and the average result I got was 4-5 months into the relationship. I questioned my findings and pondered on people’s desire to say the word with the right meaning behind it. I was curious what made people make the change from like to love, and I listened to stories of newfound loves and tragic romances (typically not by choice). I, then, took a look at myself and what I had going on.

I didn’t really come to a solid conclusion on myself, but I know what I have going on is something special and quite frankly, rather dear to me. I like where things are going and I am just going to keep it at that.

Epic Struggles of Choosing a Book

New post update from the other blog! 🙂 Please read and share your thoughts if you would like. Thanks!

Scenes from a Book Nerd's Happenings

Upon finishing one of the biggest books in the past year, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (I know, I’m way behind on the times here) and now finally picking up The Hunger Games (double fail on the upkeep) to give it a try, I realized how poorly I have been doing with my reading list. According to my horribly incomplete Goodreads account (I honestly tried to think of every single book I’ve read in my life, but it’s impossible to find them all), I have about 70 books under the To-Read shelf. However, that’s just a starting point because I just rediscovered my account on there recently, so I’ve been in an ongoing, non-stop process of updating it. Add that with my job in the library… if I remember to keep up with it, it’s going to get blown to pieces with all the books I come across.

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Father Time Is Here to Beat You.

Time.

Time is something that I realize will continue weighing heavily on my mind for the rest of my life, starting after I graduated from college two years ago. I always seem to find myself speaking with the starting phrase, ‘Back when I was… (insert place, age, reflective memory, etc)’ in response to another person’s story. Honestly, I don’t even think about it when I’m saying it either.

For example, with my part-time (the other job), there’s a younger girl there who was talking about how excited she was to start college this coming fall. I immediately got excited because college was such a fun experience with so many happy memories for me; I started my response (again, without really thinking about) as, “Oh, I remember back to my first semester at college!” and carried on with some of my personal advice on how to keep your head afloat and don’t do dumb stuff, but you probably should accomplish some dumb stuff so you’re aware that it’s dumb.

Drinking 3 beers with 10+% alcohol content is sometimes dumb. Especially alone. While your companion drinks one beer that’s 5%. Jerk.

In the midst of my reflective ramble, I suddenly realized that I was speaking of an event (leaving for college) that happened almost six years ago. To some people, I understand this may not seem like a long time, but someone like myself… it’s a little rough, haha. As I steadily cruise through my 20s, I understand that I’m in a crucial period of making it or breaking it. Of course, anyone can make any changes they want at any point of time in their lives, but let’s face it: You run through elementary and high school like it’s nothing major, jump in the college boat for a couple of years to grab a degree in something, and then once you get off the boat into a ‘New World’… suddenly, you’re actually truly, positively on your own.

Dinner will be waffles! With nutella! And strawberries and bananas! This is what adults eat, right? RIGHT?!

In the past couple years, I learned how to not only take on all mandatory and extra forms of responsibilities, but also how to create myself into the type of person I really would like to be as I continue to age. This is your chance to be the person you want to be, you just have to do what it takes to get it. Everything worth having usually takes some effort on both sides to make it work. I wanted to work in a library real bad but had zero experience, so I decided to volunteer while working two jobs and finally score a job in the midst of that, allowing myself to replace one of the jobs. Just recently, I was upgraded into a better position at a separate branch with much more responsibilities and as well as room to continue learning more. This ordeal took about a year, which might seem fast for some, but it definitely took a lot of effort and networking on my part to get where I am right now.

I also grew my hair long, drastically updated my wardrobe (still a continued process), lost some of that good ol’ college beer gut, switched into a healthy, slight organic vegetarian diet, and finally got myself to read, blog, and draw! I feel much more like myself and who I have wanted to be now than I have in a very long time.

Love, happiness, and Battleship

However, back to the time and age issue. The reason this cropped up into my mind today was because of a certain website called Buzzfeed. If you are not familiar with this media website, it’s essentially a social content website with various posts on… well, anything! Like, Dogs that Look like Pandas, Animal Photobombers or Things that Don’t Make Sense, to name a few.

The one… THE ONE that got to me was this: 48 Things That Will Make You Feel Old. Now, about this particular post, it might be specifically applied to those who fall under the ’90s kids’ generation A.K.A. primarily those in their 20s right now (such as myself). However, the concept of it can be applicable to all ages; so if you were to compile a bunch of items and events that occurred in the 1980s and showed them to all those in their late 20s and 30s, it would more or less have the same effect.

One example in the Buzzfeed post, The Spice Girls’ album, Spice, was released 15 years ago in the U.S. during early 1997 when I was 8 years old. I specifically remember how much of an effect  the Girls had on me though in ’97 and ’98, as they were the powerhouse for ‘girl power’ with myself and other girls at the time, which is why saying this occurred 15 years ago suddenly seems like a punch in the gut. This memory that seems so strong and unforgettable happened that long ago?

N*SYNC went on ‘hiatus’ 10 years ago. This was a band that cruised through and took over pop music (alongside Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Boyz2Men, and other groups) since their formation in 1995 up until their hiatus in 2002. For myself, the late 90s and early 2000s were my teeny-bopper, preteen, and start of teenage years so you can guess that I was madly-stupid-crazy into boy bands (and Spice Girls) at the time. They were good-looking! They could sing and dance! Sometimes they were similar outfits! They were good-looking! I still remember their videos and appearances on MTV’s TRL afternoon line-up… you know, back when MTV still played music?!

I hope you just got whiplash from all these flashbacks I’m throwing past you.

Too intense… confusion and distraught! MADNESS!

Times carries on and things change, music change, clothes change, attitude change, people change. I’ve always accepted this, certainly, but I couldn’t hide the fact that I was experiencing some serious nostalgia for my dear, sweet, innocent childhood days of questionable pop music. Rihanna is a nice singer and all, but I understand too clearly what she’s looking for… anybody can get it.

This is my advice to those struggling with the flow of time and gaining a year: Just grow with it. As you age, you continuously have the ability to make the changes you desire and carve yourself into a better person. You might be getting a little older, but is that going to stop you from accomplishing what you want? NO! I used to spend all of my teenage years drawing, painting, crafting all sorts of things. I took every single art class, in additional to community art classes, all through high school and one additional one in the first semester of college, where I feel I completed some of my best work.

Piece of a metamorphosis project. Only a fond memory now…

After that, I stopped. Why? I got too caught up with the college lifestyle, with the stress of major classes, with the excitement of moving to the main campus (it’s huge!) with all my friends in year three, with my social life and the ability to do anything I wanted. After I graduated, I moved to the big city and realized that I needed to work, and work hard to make money to pay for everything. After some initial struggle, I ended up with two jobs I didn’t like (nothing to do with my major, of course) and volunteer work (that I loved). As I explained earlier in this post, in the past year turned into what I have going on now (one job that I love and one that is kind of eh).

My Beautiful Other Home

So what happened to my passion for art? Well, I’m bringing it back! I have all of my supplies from high school in a big box for me to use, I’m going to my city’s big Arts Festivals (there will be a post for this, I’m sure) in the next month, I bought a pair of coupons to do a painting class with a friend at a bar (clever, methinks), and finally, I signed up for a kind-of-pricey drawing lab class for July and August. It’s going to be a little rough to get back into, but I’m not letting time remind me of that. I fully intend on grabbing back my original passion for it and bringing it together full force.

Halfway session of a Round Robin Canvas Pass-a-long

I will also say that this blogging adventure I’ve been trying to pursue has also helped with bringing back my creativity in all forms: art, writing, and reading. I’ve read so many blogs and posts of such inspiring thoughts and ideas and I continue to crave more. 🙂 These are some of my favorites so far (forgive me, I’m still looking for so many more to read!):

A Beautiful Mess (Crafty, cute, fun!)

Books and Bowel Movements (The love for reading… ahh, I love it!)

into mind (Fashion and thoughts)

love library and Lupine Librarian (Librarians! My dream!)

bornattwentyfive (Inspiring about life and happiness! So sweet!)

The Shy Comedian (Oh my goodness, I can’t tell if this girl’s humor strives from unfortunate events or what, but she is so clever and witty with her views… so funny)

Photoblog by Jay J. Manalo (A cute photoblog, something I wish I was better at… I’ll keep trying!)

What About This? (Just things in life and having fun, but I love the Friday’s Fresh Five posts, she lists so many great things!)

My only real goal with blogging to eventually come to a point where I will be able to share something that will inspire another. I understand that this blog is super young, unformed, unorganized, and needs a lot of legwork to make it something readable, but I’m willing to make it happen.

I support you in your turnip-y dreams

Will time let me achieve that? Of course, because I’m not going to let it drag me down. 🙂 Thanks for reading and many thanks for each one of you for being inspiring individuals.

Please, if you would like, share with me your thoughts in the comments below on time, flashbacks, and what inspires you to achieve what you want, no matter what age you are. What are some things you may have forgotten, but have been wanting to bring back?

Beautiful! I love the first and fourth one!

,

Andre Jordan’s work is both adorable and witty. His array of artistic illustrations and written words are simple and touching all at once. And sometimes downright hilarious.

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Ideas, Inspiration, Motivation!

Ahh, I can’t believe how lazy I have gotten in trying to keep up with this blog. I have a habit of just getting caught up in the moment of things; when I finally get home, I’m just tired and want to crawl in bed. However, I don’t have any real excuse for that. Today will be a discussion of happy things and good news.

I finally got myself to go on a (short) run this morning before work with my sister’s dog. It was nice to get outside and feel my body trying hard to keep the pace, but unfortunately, the dog has a habit of just being all over the place. Hence, the tripping, the confusion, the general annoyance followed and the run was only for ten minutes. (You can just simply imagine a stick figure awkwardly tripping over a large dog through a ditch on the side of the road for the most likely imagery) So, all in all, it was a failing success. It definitely gave me motivation though, so HOPEFULLY *crosses fingers* I will try to keep up with it. I thought about keeping some running clothes in my car but I like to wash my makeup off beforehand, so I would have to carry facial cleaner and I’m not even sure where I’d end up jogging if it was somewhere not at home. I would need my water bottle with COLD water and possibly a towel… I would look like a hoarder (not that my car doesn’t already express that).

Moving along, in one month, I will be finally moving to a new place with a friend of mine! It’s a small duplex, but it’s nice inside and we have the liberty of painting, gardening, hanging stuff, etc. It’s also much closer to my work, closer to a lot of friends, closer to downtown of the city, closer to alternative transit systems (rail trolley and buses, so to speak), closer to just a lot of things I’ve been wanting to be closer to.

Newly redone. I love the little lamp and the stone outlining the door.

With that in mind, I will be looking for a new weekend part-time job to replace my old one since it’ll just be too much of a drive to get to. I got time to hunt around, but I’m hoping that I don’t end up with something that makes me want to yank my hair out! My library (full-time) job is just so nice because the people want to be there! They want to talk to you, want you to help them out, want to read books and learn, participate in community events, and just simply enjoy life more than sitting on your couch watching MTV marathons of Jersey Shore. The sad thing is that it’s not quite enough money for myself to live by so until I get further into the field, I’ll still need some extra income on the weekends. On the plus side, I genuinely enjoy working…. so whatever job I may pick up, I will find reasons to like it. 

There’s a thrift store called Avalon Exchange in my city with two neighborhood locations. Basically, it’s like your Goodwill and Salvation Army, but it’s specifically aimed at a younger crowd (AKA people like me) with the type of clothing they promote. The clothing options are usually better than the various Plato’s Closets we have here (another ‘younger aged thrift store’), so it’s pretty nice be able to find a pair of jeans in great condition for $12!! I’ve been reading many other blogs on here about how other ladies (and gentlemen, I suppose haha) work with what they have, shop below their means and use creative ways to make something old into something new. While I do like to clean out my closet every couple of months, I have been trying pretty hard to see what sort of combinations I can make first. 

Being open-minded with the clothing…. a new goal for me this summer. And shop cheap. Why do I need to spend $45 on a new shirt at AE when I could get one for way cheaper and of basically equal quality some place else? 

One other personal resolution I’ve been working hard to keep is my vegetarian diet. While, personally, I don’t find it horribly difficult to negate the meat out of my diet (admittedly, I still eat seafood…. it’s a slow process), I’m realizing that there’s so much I could experiment with the produce, pasta, breads, cheese, spices, etc that I already have. I plan on hitting up a local Farmer’s Market sometime in the next week and stock up on some goodies (soooo excited!!), plopping myself in the kitchen with a couple of vegetarian cookbooks and see what magic I can create. Or ruin. Regardless, I’ll still eat because I would feel awful for it to go to waste. 

This is a quite a long post with not very many pictures. Sorry about that, I just wanted to get a lot of happy thoughts and resolutions I’ve been working on, off my chest and into this blog. The next posts are going to be way more interesting, colorful and picture-iffic. 

Questions for you guys! Got any vegetarian tips and secrets? What kind of house-warming parties should I throw if I decide to do one? What sort of motivation do you guys use to get yourself into an exercise routine? Thanks for reading! 🙂

Keep On Smiling

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating how people perceive happiness as well as what ways they go about achieving it. I firmly believe that you truly enjoy what you’re doing with life and can be satisfied with the decisions you choose to make, then your happiness is real and well-deserved. However, if you don’t like something and choose to make no actions to change it, then you deserve the unhappiness that comes with it. Everything in life comes through with some form of effort on your part, more if you are intending on making it relevant to yourself. If you find yourself in an unhappy situation, think about what you could do to change it. Certainly, there may be risks involved; nonetheless, if you think there would a brighter end, then by all means, go for it. The following things should be considered:

– Make sure that you are doing things because YOU want to do it, not because someone asked you to do it

– Don’t forget about the little things in life. Stop rushing for a few minutes and take a good look around you.

– Be the person you always wanted to be. You are who you are and you need to truly accept that.

– If you are dissatisfied with something, put in the effort to make that change. If you do, then it’s worth the satisfaction in the end.

– Be sure that the people you spend time with are the people who support and inspire you. The ones who appreciate you as much as you appreciate them. Every relationship should have an equal balance of love and support.

This website, 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself, gives out really great advice. I only hope for everyone to find their own form of happiness.

Post Secret surprise

I found this while at work at the library. I stopped to flip through a Post Secret book (love them) and found this note inside. It will be okay, Kelly, you can make Reality as wonderful as your Dreams.

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